The Pep Talk
Monday, September 24, 2012 at 9:26AM I was really touched and overwhelmed by the comments some of you left on my post about confidence last week. Many of you have gotten over their confidence issues, but there were some who are still trying or haven't even started. So, I thought I'd share some of the ideas that help me feel more confident about myself and the things I do!
1. You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. Why? Because no one truly cares. Sure some people might outwardly pressure you to be this and that, but they're doing it for their personal gratification - not yours. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled. That's something that no one else can define for you, so stop listening to everyone who says you can't and shouldn't. Fuck them. Just do it!
2. You're never as ugly as you think you are. We are our own worst critic most of the time, and we endlessly cut ourselves to pieces comparing ourselves to this "perfect" girl we know. The truth is that she also probably has her own demons to battle with, comparing her skinny perfect self to someone "better" than her. You have to let go, to end the self-flagellation.
It may be hard to believe but all of us are beautiful in some way. Inner beauty aside, we all have physical features that are enviable. For example I might have a flat nose and huge arms, but I have great legs and naturally curly hair that girls fry their own hair for. It's just a case of seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty! So stop seeing all your faults and focus on all the good things about yourself.
List it down if you have to, then play them up whenever you dress up or do your makeup. See the difference positive self-awareness instead of self-flagellation makes!
3. No one is watching and waiting for you to fail. When I was younger I was into public speaking - elocution, debate. I would also sing. Before I step on stage I would go cold all over because I was nervous. What if I miss a note or forget my lines? Well, I usually missed a note and forgot my lines. But see, after a while of doing that, I realized that people don't think any less of me. They don't remember my mistakes - they remember that I had the guts and the talent to just go up there and try.
Many of us are afraid of trying something simply because there's the possibility of failure. No one wants to fail, more so in front of a crowd or social circle. But here's the thing about failure: no one is hanging on the edge of their seats waiting for you to make The Mistake. No one but you, that is. Everyone else is busy living their own lives and facing their own problems - why would they obssess about yours, unless it affects them directly?
What I'm trying to say is, stop being so self-conscious about what other people will think or say about the things you want to do. No one is watching, so you might as well try and then succeed (or fail) spectacularly.
And that's it really. These are the simple ideas that I live by. I do think that they're the reason I'm a happy person - because I believe in myself, don't let anyone get me down (least of all myself), and do the things that make me happy.
Try it, it just might work. :)
Reader Comments (21)
This is a very feel-good post! Thanks for this Ms.Liz. :) Lately, I've gained weight due to stress eating (my forever excuse! LOL), and I feel that I have been less beautiful than my old thinner self, I always ask my friends and boyfriend if Im too fat already, and I end up not believing them when they say I look just fine. Make-up has always been a confidence booster for me, and this is what I use to compromise for my recent weight gain. Thank you for giving a very positive perspective on how we should look at ourselves. :) Your post is very inspiring! More power!
Thanks for the pep talk! It reminded me what I'm supposed to do about blogging and you're totally right.
^_^
i totally felt better after reading this post.better than any makeup reviews,sales,or giveaways.(though I still love those lol!) It feels so good to be reassured that yes,I must feel better about myself, for no one else but me. Thanks a lot Miss Liz.
Thanks Liz.
What an inspiring read to start our week.
God bless!
thanks a bunch liz :) will keep these in mind ;)
Definitely something I can keep in mind. I agree with 1,2, and 3... I only started to gain confidence when I was already working. I was never the type that is aggressive or proactive when it comes to approaching or mingling with people... I took my time in building my confidence. I learned to brush off my insecurities till the time came that I became comfortable with my self. I know that I am not perfect but no one is.
I read this post a couple of times for it to fully sink in. :) Thank you Ms. Liz for the pep talk and for really reaching out to your readers this way. It really helps when someone who's also been in your shoes understands what its like too.
True, we are own worst critic but on the other hand, we are also our own best bestfriend too, right? :)
Thank for putting that extra smile back on my face today Ms. Liz. Inspirational women like you gives us, ladies, that boost of sunshine that we need. Sometimes that's all you need, a little inspiration. It really does go a long way. Bless your sweet and kind heart, Ms. Liz. Truly.
Have a magical day! Cheers to you! :)
"Do what makes you happy and fulfilled." YOLO, so do whatever it is that makes u happy without minding other people's comments. A pastor once said that our life is nothing but a hyphen when we die; like Jan 2, 1980 - Dec 32, 2041 for that matter. Life is short. Its just a hyphen. Breakfree.
Very inspirational indeed Liz! Thank you for another meaningful post. As the saying goes, there's no ugly women, just lazy ones. We all have our own different assests that we could highlight instead of beating ourselves with our flaws. No one is perfect therefore we can never be perfect. That's just the way it is. That's how we are created. We are created unique and beautiful and its about time we appreciate that about ourselves. Sometimes its all in our minds. At the end of the day, it comes down to a CHOICE. To choose whether to live positively or to beat yourself with negativity.
Good vibes! :)
You don't know how much I needed to read this post. I've been dealing with my self-confidence and constantly worrying about how people think of me. I changed my hair color because they think this, they think that. I did so many things. It's also affecting the way I act around others - it's so weird, it's like I live to please them. I had my close friends to tell me that to fully sink in, because I couldn't grasp the attitude to NOT care. It'll take a while for me to get used to it, but thank you for the pep talk. I'm sure that it is not only me who's experiencing this.
Thank you! :)
Inspirational blog post, Ms. Liz :) i agree in everything you have listed. Enjoy being yourself and do the things you think will make you happy :>
#2 is so soo me! You are right, i shouldn't feel bad about myself. i was once bullied when I was in gradeschool & high school calling me "panget" or "big nose", and those times really have scarred me for life. But as time flies, i mlearning to accept who I am. I'm still on a battle with myself, which is crazy and depressing for some time. But when I met my fiance, he kept on telling me that I don't need make-up to always look good.
This is really a nice post and I salute you for your confidence and uplifting words! :)
Really inspiring! This post makes me want to do the things I've been putting on hold because of self-doubt! Just this afternoon I visited the school I graduated from and I saw this stunning girl, no makeup on and very diyosa ang features. I felt a little down then, 'cause I had makeup on and she's way prettier! Then I remembered my mantra... "I should always appreciate the way I look (yes bad hair and sleepless zombie days included) because this face was passed on to me by my parents with great love for me and for each other." So if anyone out there feels that nagging insecurity once in a while, I hope we could all think of our parents and their great love for us! :D
hi ms liz! :) that is a very inspirational post! i read your blog daily and this kind of post is what i am looking forward to..(and also the reviews..and make-up tutorials..haha! everything na pala!)
keep on inspiring ms. liz! :) you are good at what you do..:) boosting our confidence and all that :) keep it up!! and more power to your blog!
This is such a nice followup post about confidence! Stay gorgeous Ms Liz and may your readers including me continue to be confident throughout life's challenges! :)
God, I so agree with your points! Most of the time all the negative things we see with ourselves are all in our heads! Like Dr. Seuss said: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." I've made peace with the fact that I don't have what some may think as the "ideal body type," and relish in the fact that the people who matter to me believe I'm beautiful :)
I can totally understand and possibly do numbers 2 and 3 pero number 1 is really difficult. I grew up in an environment that obeys rules and with that I learned to anticipate responses and answers even if I don't ask or do anything. And that lead to entering a course and university of my parents choosing. Which transcended into finding the right job that would make them, happy because I feel that if I don't go for the job that they want, I'm failing them or I just wasted all their efforts.
But thank you again, Ms. Liz for this empowering post. It is truly needed and is heard. :D
Thanks for this Ms. Liz! It really helped me.. I was experiencing some issues from now and then and this really cleared up my mind.. Thank you! :D
Thanks liz for the wonderful advice! Just what I need right now. I love that you not only review beauty products but give thought insights to encourage your readers (like me!). There are a lot of articles how to gain confidence but it's very refreshing to hear it from another Filipina and someone my own age. Thanks again! I'm such a fan.
I love how articulately you can put things together. Love this post! <3
Words I needed the most. Thank you for this beautiful post. Love your blog!
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