Monday Musings: Things Nobody Warned Me About Adulthood, So Let Me Warn You Now

Do you remember the exact moment you became an adult? Mine was when, after my first ever pay check, I went grocery shopping. I was shocked by how much of my salary went to a basket of the cheapest basic grocery items I can find. I cried a little in the supermarket aisle because of this. I thought it would be easier! There should be a warning label for adulthood. Something they hand out the moment you pay your first bill or realize chips for dinner is a viable, if not entirely wise, option. Because the truth is, no one really prepares you for the bizarre, often lonely, sometimes liberating experience of being a grown-up. It just...happens. One day you’re in school with a packed lunch and a schedule, and the next you’re staring into your fridge wondering if crackers are enough to hold off your GERD.

Here are some hard truths about adulthood that no one warned me about, but I’ll warn you now.

If adulthood feels confusing, lonely, or just plain exhausting, well it’s not just you.

Deciding what to eat is a full-time job.

You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Freedom, yes? Until you realize that also means you are responsible for not giving yourself hypertension by 30. The daily “What should I eat?” debate becomes a creeping existential crisis. Cooking feels like a chore, eating out feels expensive, and everything healthy is either boring or easily perishable. I have stood in front of an open fridge with food in it and still ordered takeout. This has happened way too many times!

Friend groups fall apart. Making new friends is awkward.

Remember those big barkada group chats? They slowly become ghost towns. People move, get married, change careers, start families. You’ll wake up one day and realize your closest friend now is your barista because they remember your coffee order. Making new friends as an adult feels weirdly like dating: “So, what do you do? Want to hang out? No pressure!” And still, most of the time, it fizzles out because everyone is busy or exhausted or both. Relationships get harder and harder as we grow older because there are just too many things going on all the time.

Living alone is peaceful… until it’s not.

It’s amazing to have your own space. You can decorate how you want, walk around naked, spill stuff on the floor without anyone scolding you. But then the silence creeps in. It’s just you, your thoughts, and whatever existential dread comes from the doom scrolling session of the day. It’s not always sad, but some nights, it’s really sad.

No one is coming to save you.

This one hits hard. There’s no textbook guide, no magical adult who suddenly appears and says, “Here’s how to do taxes, fix your broken heart, and find a career you love.” You figure it out by messing up, learning, and doing it better next time. You realize that adulthood is just layers of trial and error until you finally get the lesson into your thick skull. This process is so painful and time-consuming. But then one day you realize, aha, you have the capacity to save yourself after all.

Most people aren’t thinking about you.

This is both the best and worst news. Best, because you can stop worrying so much about what people think. No one noticed when you embarrassed yourself about a random thing last week. They’re too busy dealing with their own stuff. Worst, because of course we want people to care. We want to be seen, remembered, loved. But in adulthood, that often means reaching out first, showing up for others, and being okay with fewer but deeper connections.

So if adulthood feels confusing, lonely, or just plain exhausting, well it’s not just you. Most of us are winging it, some better than others. My only advice is to take it one day at a time and to enjoy the adventure. The plot can suck often but it can also be an amazing story, if you actively go for that option.

And yes, you still have to figure out what to eat tomorrow. Sorry.