Project Baby: What I Learned While Trying to Conceive

So, you want to have a baby. The time feels right. Your mind, body, and wallet have finally aligned, giving you the courage and confidence to bring a new life into the world. Congratulations!

This is such a beautiful moment for many women, and reportedly the easiest part of parenthood. But getting here? That can be tricky. “Trying for a baby” really is the most accurate way to put it, because all you can do is try and hope for the best. If you’re going the traditional route, there’s roughly a 1 in 20 chance of conceiving each cycle.

Whether you're already a proud mama, expecting, or wishing for that second line to appear soon, this one’s for you.

Step 1: Trying for a Baby The Workup

I had been on hormonal birth control for several years, which can cause unintended complications and side effects in some women. That’s why it’s so important to consult a doctor before starting any form of birth control. Some known adverse effects of the combination pill include elevated blood pressure, weakening of the bones, and abnormal growths in the reproductive system. I also had a family history of PCOS and benign tumors to think about.

Before 2024, none of that really bothered me. I felt healthy. My annual physicals always came back normal—maybe a bit overweight, but I was exercising, so I wasn’t too concerned.

Then suddenly, there was something I wanted more than anything in the world.

I had a transvaginal ultrasound, which is a far cry from the cute abdominal scans I grew up seeing on TV. A transvaginal ultrasound involves inserting a wand internally to get a clear view of your reproductive organs. In less than five minutes, I had images of both ovaries, my cervix, and a healthy endometrium. My doctor smiled and said, “Baby nalang.”

One more check-up later, I walked away with a prescription for what felt like an insane amount of folic acid. Starting folic acid before pregnancy helps ensure a healthy baby and can prevent certain types of anemia. While the standard dose is about 400–600 mcg per day, my doctor prescribed 5 mg daily, factoring in my family history.

The biggest lesson here? Being proactive about your health can save you so much stress and uncertainty down the line. And honestly, knowing is already half the battle.

Step 2: Trying for a Baby

My husband and I were 29—young, by all accounts. I didn’t have any real worries about conceiving. I assumed it would just... happen. But then three months passed. We started off naïve, thinking it would happen when it happened. But with each month that slipped by, I found myself growing more and more frustrated. Why was I so worried about teenage pregnancy back then, when getting pregnant turned out to be harder than I thought?

Step 3: Trying for a Baby, Again

I started tracking my cycle and downloaded a few fertility apps to help predict my most fertile days. After three more months with no luck, I caved and bought a set of ovulation strips—and pregnancy tests. If you’re planning to conceive, buying in bulk online is infinitely cheaper than picking up individual tests at the pharmacy.

Ovulation strips work similarly to pregnancy tests in that they detect hormonal changes in your body. Specifically, they track a surge in luteinizing hormone (LH), which triggers ovulation within the next 12 hours or so. The general rule of thumb is to take pregnancy tests first thing in the morning, right when you wake up. Ovulation tests, on the other hand, can be taken twice a day to make sure you don’t miss your LH peak.

You’ll know you’ve hit your peak when the test line is as dark—or darker—than the control line. That’s why it’s helpful to take more than one ovulation test across a few days, so you can actually see the shift from a negative to a positive.

Negative ovulation test, even with the faint line this means a negative.

Positive ovulation test, the darker test line means your LH levels have increased and you’re close to ovulation.

Repeat Step 2 and 3 until desired result.

This may take a while.

Step X: We did it!

Then suddenly—there it was. The faintest, pinkest line on a pregnancy test. After months of trying, the disbelief hit me like a wave. I couldn’t trust my eyes. I even made my husband take a test just so I could compare it to a true negative.

But there it was, clear as day on mine: proof of our very wanted baby.

Just a few of the pregnancy tests I took to confirm that it was real. Seen at the very top is my husband’s negative test.

The road to success is never straight. And with the gift of hindsight, I can see that I had nothing to seriously worry about. I can see that the mix of hormones and anxiety made me worrywart, looking for trouble at every turn. This journey could last as short as a month or could go on longer than we’d wish. No matter what step of this journey you’re on just know that you have the support of loved ones and a community behind you. Seek help and advice when everything feels hard.

Stay tuned to this new segment here on Project Vanity as I share my adventures and practical knowledge as a new mom with Baby A.

Find your community and join us at The Project Vanity Community Facebook group. The support and knowledge makes it more than just another Facebook group.