Monday Musings: On Taking Your Time

Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda is such an incredible play. There are so many themes that resonate with me, but what always gets me is how Alexander Hamilton came from nothing - like I did - and built something through sheer force of will. People often think it’s all about talent. And yes, that helps. But more than that, it’s the determination to win at all costs that makes the real difference.

There’s a line in the musical that lives in my head rent-free: “Why do you write like you’re running out of time?” I relate to it so much. When I was younger, I felt like I had to rush, rush, rush, like life was one unending sprint. I was so hungry that stomach devoured itself (dramatic, but honestly, accurate in the figurative sense).

Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with a lot of money. That planted a massive chip on my shoulder, because then I had to prove Something to People. I knew I was going to be successful, even as a young girl. I wasn’t sure how exactly but I never doubted it. And I couldn’t wait to get there as quickly as possible.

But the thing about running that hard for that long is that you burn out. And I did, quite spectacularly, during the pandemic. I was forced to slow down when everything stopped, to really sit with myself and ask: Do I still want this? After a major failure (one of many shared by entrepreneurs around the world at the time), I had no choice but to answer that question before I can move forward.

The answer was yes, I still want this. But something changed. Now, I no longer feel like I’m running out of time.

I’m 37, about to turn 38 next month, and I feel like I have so much time ahead of me to do achieve and experience the things I want for myself. I suspect this is partly a function of age. When you’re 20, you’ve only experienced maybe 20% of your lifetime (if you’re an average person). Every day feels urgent because your sense of time is still so small. But when you’re nearing 40 and have gone through success and failure, joy and grief, and all the shades of emotion in between, you realize that wait - you still have so much time pala.

Maybe even 60% of your life is still ahead. And if we factor in all the advances in health and longevity, maybe 50% of that is still going to be good, high-quality living. That’s a lot, actually. That’s way more time than you’ve been spent being alive for your first 20-30 years.

So, if you’re in your 20s or 30s and feel like life is passing you by at the speed of light - please know that’s just a feeling. It’s not fact. You do have time. Time to try and fail. Time to risk and be rewarded. Time to rest, which is equally as important as the sprint.

You have time.