Reader question: How to deal with people staring at your makeup
Hi Miss Liz! I've been a lurker for far too long and I stumbled upon your blog sometime November last year and I'm super thankful to have found it.
I was never really interested before with makeup because my family and the community I'm in (which is very small that news travels fast in the grapevine) has this fixation that natural beauty is the only way to go and most of my friends haven't really been using makeup aside from the occasional lipstick. Because of this, I'm not really confident walking around with makeup when everyone else is bare faced. I just wanted to ask if you have any tips for a girl who is just starting out and how to deal with the stares.
I'd like to thank you in advance and please continue with Project Vanity since it has given me purchase ideas :) - KitKat
Glad you like it here! ^_^ l also grew up in a small povincial town, so I totally understand where you're coming from. I was also self-conscious about wearing bright eyeshadow and lipstick (not to mention, crazy outfits when everyone else is just in jeans!), but I did get over it. It may be difficult to change a person's POV about dressing up, but it's never too late to change yours!
1. Know and remember why you're wearing makeup. Is it to feel more confident about yourself? Is it because you enjoy the process of collecting and applying it? Whatever your reasons are, it pays to acknowledge them. Remember that you're doing this for you. You're not seeking approval or attention. You just want to bring out the beauty you already have.
Say it like a mantra, if you need to. It will make you feel more comfortable with yourself.
2. They don't really care, and if they do, they can't do anything about it. I think all of us has this paranoia that everytime we're in a crowd, everyone else is just watching us every second, waiting for us to make a mistake. This is hardly true. Everyone has their own business to mind. They have their own problems and inner conversations. No one has the time to judge everybody!
Perhaps some people will comment the first few times, but eventually they'll just have to get used to the made-up you. It's not like they have a say in the matter. You are your own person and you can express yourself the way you want to.
It's not your fault that you're too fabulous
3. Stare back when they stare at you. Whenever someone stares at us, our first instinct is to avert our eyes and walk briskly away. But if you really think about it, you didn't do anything wrong to the other person. In fact, it's the other person who is being completely rude! I find that staring back at rude people makes them realize that they're being a douchebag.
This might be difficult to do if you're naturally shy and non-confrontational, but try it one time. :) Maybe the other person just wants to know the lipstick you're wearing! That actually happened to me before. There was this middle-aged lady who kept staring at me in the restaurant. I looked at her, and eventually she smiled and just asked me the red lipstick shade I have on.
Everyone has their own opinion about makeup, but the opinion that matters most is yours. If you like how you look with perfect smoky eyeshadow then by all means - don't stop! Makeup is fun and a great way to express your personality. Don't let other people take that away from you. :) Who knows, eventually you can become your town's "makeup guru" or even a pro makeup artist. This happens more than you think!
And that's that. Girls, share you advice to KitKat as well! How did you overcome the awkward staring?