I was just settling down to write about some cheap lipstick I found at the drugstore. But then I thought what the hell, I don't want to talk about lipstick. When you do what you love and you get either pressured or paid to do it, well, it stops being something you love, but just something you do.
I'm not saying I don't want to blog anymore. I will still do it for the same reason I started doing it - because I love sharing beauty finds. That's not something that will change soon. It's just that, it gets repetitive and monotonous, you know? Every weekday morning I wake up, check the net, and come up with something to blog. Over and over again.
But I don't think blogging is the problem. It's the monotony. My life is nice, really. I get to buy what I want, I get to do what I want. I don't have to go to an office to have to earn money everyday. I don't have major work or personal problems. It's good. Too good, maybe?
I recognize this. I've had moments like this before. The best solution is to do something out of the ordinary. Perhaps a trip? Or a haircut. Sounds great.
This got me thinking of the last time I did something daring and adventurous. It was a couple of weeks back, during a family reunion. My aunt owns a resort in a forest-y part of Alfonso, Cavite. I don't understand why she bought it; it's practically in the middle of nowhere. There was only a dirt road leading to it, and the area is surrounded by copious amounts of trees and shrubbery.
Now this is already starting to sound like a horror story, so I'll go on and say it's not. But it started the way a horror story might start - my young cousins and I trooped to find a waterfall in the area. The teenage caretaker of the resort served as our guide. We started easy, going off the road to a muddy area full of thin trees and scratchy shrubbery. Then it became more difficult as we went down a slippery slope to an eerie dark creek.
I thought this was just a temporary detour, but the creek went on for around thirty minutes, widening as we go further. All of us tread cautiously. There were some deep holes and shaky rocks, which are definitely not the sort of thing we should be exposing our ten-year old sheltered cousins to! Ah well, it was too late to turn back then.
We presently came upon the edge of a waterfall. It's the first waterfall I've seen in my life (pathetic, I know). My cousin who is a seaman estimated it to be around 15 to 20 feet tall. All of us were thrilled with the find, but we didn't seriously consider actually jumping off it.
That is, until a small local kid, perhaps less than four feet tall, blandly walked over to the edge and jumped. He was submerged for a few seconds and then he merrily swam away like a frog. Another kid about the same age and height did the same thing shortly afterwards. There was no doubt - one of us tourists have to do it!
My seaman cousin jumped first. We weren't worried because, for crying out loud, the man probably knows how to swim (although we teased him for years when we were younger since he couldn't because he missed swimming lessons we all took at this naval base in Cavite called Sangley Point). The next cousin who jumped was the son of my seaman uncle, so we weren't worried about him either. Both of them were strong swimmers, and it was evident as they swam to the shore. They reported that the water is probably 15 feet deep.
That's when a crazy idea suddenly struck me: I HAVE to jump off that damned waterfall. Just because.
Now there are a few reasons why that's a really stupid idea. First off, while I know how to swim, I haven't actually done it in deep water without a life vest. When I was a kid I would always hide from the instructor whenever we have to practice at eight feet. Second, did I say I have never swum in deep water without a life vest? Snorkeling in Boracay doesn't count, I was floating with the help of a life vest the whole time. Helmet diving doesn't count either, because it was just walking underwater wearing a 20-kilo helmet attached to an oxygen tank.
So yes, it's dumb. But I thought that I probably wouldn't get a chance again, in this same waterfall, because I would just do the logical, practical thing (as I run why whole life) next time, and the next one after that. If I didn't do it then, I will never got around to doing it.
My heart was pounding in my head, and all my cousins were chanting "Sige na! Sige na! (Do it! Do it!)" as I stood at the edge of the waterfall. My two cousins have jumped again and they were waiting for me at the bottom.
I thought, "What the hell," and jumped.
Hitting the water took a few seconds longer than I expected. I was completely submerged, my feet not even hitting bottom. Upon realizing this, I panicked. My breath was knocked out, and I struggled to reach the surface. I swallowed some water. "This is it," I thought. "I'm drowning."
That's a bit melodramatic, eh? But my desperate flailing allowed my head to finally break the surface and I managed to gulp in a few breaths. I wasted that by screeching in a teeny voice to my seaman cousin, who is waiting by a nearby rock, "I can't swim! I can't swim!"
He went over to me and I clung without thinking. That almost drowned both of us (I chuckle now but it was serious). We finally came to the rock where my other cousin was. And then we all smiled.
I was calm enough to swim to the banks with them even though the water was still deep (I can swim after all, hardi-har-har). How did I feel? Exhilarated. Strong. Accomplished. That's ironic considering I almost drowned myself because of my stupidity, but there's nothing like some adventure to feel like one can do anything.
That's not to say that everyone should jump off waterfalls once in a while. Well okay maybe everyone should, at least once. I think all of us need to do something we never thought of doing before, or going in an adventure where we don't know what will happen next. It's perhaps the only thing that will keep me, at least, from going batshit insane with my boring, predictable life.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
And now I feel better, yay. Time to talk about lipstick again!